When people tell me that I handled breast cancer and a double mastectomy with too much calmness, I knew it was time to share what I had learned in the past several years.
Yes, I kicked cancer's ass in 2021!
I knew when I got the diagnosis that I wouldn't have survived emotionally any other time in my life ... except right then!
Once again, God/Universe/Source had my back and made sure I was mentally ready for the journey.
But believe me when I say... I wasn't always calm and mentally strong AF!
I was a total screw up most of my life. On the outside, I could usually hide what lurked below the surface. Most people thought I was "normal" (whatever that looks like).
- The feelings of abandonment from the bio mother who found it easy to replace me with new kids.
- The guilt of childhood sexual assault plagued me (don't ask why some of us feel like it was our fault, just know many do and be patient with us).
- The understanding that boys wanted something from me, that gave me some level of control followed by the years of mishandling that control by making years of bad choices.
- The five marriages (and divorces) from men who I tried to fit into my storybook vision, taking my kids on the broken journey with me.
Yup, to say I was f*d up is an understatement.
So what changed? I did!
I finally had enough!
They say that you have to hit rock bottom before you reach the point of knowing that 'enough is enough.' I hope that you don't wait that long. My life could have gone even worse, so I don't believe I actually hit rock bottom, but I sure did knock myself silly on some cliffs as I repeatedly fell down.
Once I was 'ready' to Un-F* myself... which was a journey in itself... I knew there was no going back. Sure, we look back and moments that weren't bad and that's a good thing to do. But I sure didn't want to move back into my old mind, old habits, or circles.
What took me so long? Great question!
I now believe that when we're deep in our daily stresses, we really feel like we just need to focus on surviving. We can't dream, we can't push forward, we'll be lucky to get out alive! Right?
Wrong! If you believe like I did, that "one day" things will be better, but you have not made the decision to make that SHIFT (Self Healing Ignites Future Triumph)... you're spinning your wheels.
So if you feel like you have little or no control over your life, money, and wonder if anyone actually cares if you're here or not... you're not alone!
Hang in there! I promise you're not alone! It's time to do this thing and take control of your life!
Besides... I'll make it as fun and enriching as possible... who doesn't wanna be a BFD? :) and become the SUPERSTAR in their own life?
